What Are You Waiting For?
The kids are all grown, spreading their wings.
It takes effort for her these days to be relevant.
Leaning on the doorframe, memories rush by.
Little hurts needing love and Band-Aids.
Commitments to keep. Cheering to be done.
Tucking in bright red cheeks.
That’s all past now.
Their paths have been struck.
Help pack their belongings.
Fill the time with sweet distractions.
The endless game of filling up and checking off the to do lists.
Hunt for a Buddha.
Aimlessly flip through racks. Wander aisles.
Anything not to feel.
Anything not to go within.
Anything not to want.
Read an old journal.
Big plans back then.
Write a book.
Surf the oceans.
Make magic quilts.
Change the world.
“What are you waiting for?” whispers her intuition.
A voice she hasn’t listened to in a very long time.
“I couldn’t. I can’t.”
“They need me to be.”
“I’ll ask you again: what are you waiting for?” whispers the voice.
“BUT WHAT IF?”
“But what if what?” whispers the voice.
“What if I fail?”
“What if I can’t write?
“What if I can’t surf?”
“What if I can’t change the world?”
“What if he doesn’t love me any more?”
“Do you sleep well at night?” whispers the voice.
It is the same voice that haunts her sleep.
“Are you ready to meet death?”
“Have you found your life’s purpose?”
“Have you lived your life?”
“Have you done what you came here to do?”
“But I can’t. They need me.” she feebly protests.
“Who are they?” whispers the voice.
“Those angels all around you holding you up, urging you on, you mean them?”
“Yes.” she whispers, tears filling her eyes.
“Do you see their arms open to you?” says the voice, stronger, urging her to see the truth.
Her truth. Clear from shadows.
Flooded with brilliant lights of love, compassion and forgiveness.
“Yes.” she sobs, tears spilling over.
“They need you to fly.” whispers the voice. “They are giving you your wings.”
What are YOU waiting for?
*posted on the anniversary of the day, three years ago I walked away from 23 years in the corporate banking world, into the world of living the life I love and helping others do the same*
Tammy Holland is the founder of “the Soulful Woman’s Guide to a Kick-ass Life.” She expertly guides people to make breakthrough transformations that change their lives and their businesses. You can find out more about Tammy’s programs and read more of her inspirational writing and blog posts at http://www.tammyjholland.com or http://www.thesoulfulwomansguidetoakickasslife.com and like her on facebook at the https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Soulful-Womans-Guide-To-A-Kick-Ass-Life/338215946288305?ref=hl