Love the Life You Lead. Spring 2014. DAY NINE: Tammy J Holland

What Are You Waiting For?

The kids are all grown, spreading their wings.
It takes effort for her these days to be relevant.
Leaning on the doorframe, memories rush by.
Little hurts needing love and Band-Aids.
Commitments to keep. Cheering to be done.
Tucking in bright red cheeks.

That’s all past now.
Their paths have been struck.
Help pack their belongings.
Now what?

Fill the time with sweet distractions.
The endless game of filling up and checking off the to do lists.
Hunt for a Buddha.
Aimlessly flip through racks. Wander aisles.
Anything not to feel.
Anything not to go within.
Anything not to want.

Read an old journal.
Big plans back then.
Write a book.
Surf the oceans.
Make magic quilts.
Change the world.

“What are you waiting for?” whispers her intuition.
A voice she hasn’t listened to in a very long time.
“I couldn’t. I can’t.”
“They need me to be.”
“I’ll ask you again: what are you waiting for?” whispers the voice.


“But what if what?” whispers the voice.
“What if I fail?”
“What if I can’t write?
“What if I can’t surf?”
“What if I can’t change the world?”
“What if he doesn’t love me any more?”
“Do you sleep well at night?” whispers the voice.
It is the same voice that haunts her sleep.
“Are you ready to meet death?”
“Have you found your life’s purpose?”
“Have you lived your life?”
“Have you done what you came here to do?”

“But I can’t. They need me.” she feebly protests.
“Who are they?” whispers the voice.
“Those angels all around you holding you up, urging you on, you mean them?”

“Yes.” she whispers, tears filling her eyes.

“Do you see their arms open to you?” says the voice, stronger, urging her to see the truth.
Her truth. Clear from shadows.
Flooded with brilliant lights of love, compassion and forgiveness.

“Yes.” she sobs, tears spilling over.

“They need you to fly.” whispers the voice. “They are giving you your wings.”

What are YOU waiting for?

*posted on the anniversary of the day, three years ago I walked away from 23 years in the corporate banking world, into the world of living the life I love and helping others do the same*

Tammy Holland is the founder of “the Soulful Woman’s Guide to a Kick-ass Life.” She expertly guides people to make breakthrough transformations that change their lives and their businesses. You can find out more about Tammy’s programs and read more of her inspirational writing and blog posts at or and like her on facebook at the

About melindarabrams

Melinda Abrams, CPCC, MSA is a champion of the shared experience. She consistently moves individuals and groups to deeper levels of connection and support, and models ‘being moved’ by what is present in the space. She believes that in this creative combustion, capacity expands ….simply, naturally, magnificently. In addition to coaching corporate executives, Melinda takes great pleasure collecting and sharing messages about Loving the Life you Lead on facebook and her blog Moving Leaders. She loves coaching, delivering experiential programs at outdoor education centers, teaching teleclasses, holding weekend retreats, and guiding leaders to MOVE. Melinda brings over 20 years of teaching and leadership development to Moving Leaders. Her work spans experiences with youth, corporate clients, and both business and medical graduate students at Duke, University of North Carolina, North Carolina State and Wake Forest Universities. Her commitment is to serve emerging leaders as they move towards shared enthusiastic leadership. And YES! Melinda is also an artist. She creates unique handpainted scarves. In my art, my coaching, and my spiritual practice I consistently return to wonder and awe. As I turn to wonder and create from there I experience a profound connection with source. This movement brings me to this latest series of scarves. I love the idea of wrapping oneself in an idea–an intention– a possibility, and creating beauty with that intention. My hope is that when one chooses this scarf to wear, they turn from disconnected bland to soulful brilliant. Of course when the scarf is open and hung you can read the message, yet when it is draped and worn, the message is simply seen as a design. My promise is that the wearer is reminded to turn towards the message and that the message is shared through the wearers actions and interactions with others. Melinda Abrams Melinda loves living in Chapel Hill, NC with her husband and three children.
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