Love the Life You Lead
Spring 2014. DAY ELEVEN
Justine Brooks Froelker
What if you feel the fear but choose it anyway?
We often times don’t want to admit to ourselves that we always have a choice. Sure, they may be two pretty shitty choices, but still, we always have a choice. We make choices every single minute of every single day that define our lives, our happiness and our souls. Some choices are simple, easy and small. Others are gut wrenching and life changing.
My most life altering choice?
To choose my recovery.
I honestly don’t think it matters what you need to recover from; addiction, discontent, obsessive compulsive disorder, disorganization, depression, bitterness, loss of any kind, infertility, toxic relationship, anxiety, toxic job, family stuff, feeling lost, lack of motivation, perfectionism, holding on, anger, faith difficulties…this list can go on and on.
Recovery is recovery.
Life is hard, people are complicated and we will all eventually need to make the active choice to change our lives and recover from something that is holding us back from the authentic, brave, shining light of our heart, soul and spirit.
The biggest road block I often see with clients, and even within myself, to this soul completing choice is fear.
Change is hard.
We fear hard.
Mistakes, mess ups, backward steps and maybe even what some may call a failure are inevitable.
We fear imperfection.
Without _______________ who the hell am I?
We fear feeling even more lost.
At least we have the unhappy, shitty known.
We fear the unknown.
As someone who has drug herself out of the hole of miserable despair to do the work of recovery. And as someone who pushes, walks alongside and sometimes leads others into making the choice to choose change and themselves. I can promise, that if you do the work, anything really is possible.
But you have to feel the fear and do it anyway, we must be afraid and brave all at once because courage isn’t comfortable, as the work of Brené Brown shows.
Choose courage. Choose change. Choose you.
Justine Brooks Froelker is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator-Candidate (based on the research of Brené Brown) with a private practice in Saint Louis, Missouri (www.jbftherapyandcoachingcoaching.com). In February 2011, her husband and she began their journey in the world of IVF. Two rounds of IVF with a gestational surrogate, two transfers, three babies never to be born and learning to accept a childfree life later, Ever Upward is conceived (www.everupward.org).