Love the Life you Lead. Summer 2104. Day FIVE: Melinda Abrams

A note to fo

Fo is what I call the part of me that experiences fear…fearful one, FO for short. While I have the incredible privilege to be living in a place that is currently safe for me to express my beliefs, and I do not have to worry every day about the physical safety of my children. . . .I do experience fear. Some days I literally wake up with a pain in my gut. Truthfully, I feel a vast array of emotions, but today I will focus on Fo. Fo shows up when I read the news about the various countries in the middle east. Fo wraps her tight fingers around my guts when I hear about the abuse and abduction of girls. Fo tugs at me when I worry that my professional work is not good enough. Fo has something to say about my parenting, and about my family. Fo whines much about the state of education in NC. Fo digs in her heals when I try something brand new. I know that there is a Fo in each of us. It’s a normal emotion to experience. I believe that when Fo is isolated and overwhelmed, reality gets skewed. I believe that Fo coupled with intense anger produces violence, yet Fo coupled with love and understanding produces healthy growth.

Today I wrote a note to Fo.

I know that you are always with me. Know that I do not want to change you, nor do I want to make you go away. I also don’t want you to be alone. When you are alone you tend to make things up that aren’t true. Even when you’re really, really afraid I want you to let love hang out with you. Sure, stamp your feet and say all of the things that you have to say. . . and then stick around. Experience what it feels like to be afraid AND be loved. You can do it Fo.

Breathing is good too.

You don’t just have to hang out with other fos. I know you think you do but you don’t. Really. You might even be surprised by what and who show up to walk you through whatever is bothering you. And here’s the thing Fo, even when you get disappointed. . . .even when you feel totally isolated. . . come out and let me know. I promise that sharing what you are thinking and feeling will be so much better than trying to keep it all to yourself. You see, even when you try, you are not alone. You are a part of something much bigger. Come Fo, I love you.


May you be blessed.

To each of you, wherever you are . . . May you
Never underestimate the power of growth


Even when you are feeling like you are between a rock and a hard place.

May you never underestimate the will to thrive

Never underestimate the will to breach the wall…to grow…to connect


About melindarabrams

Melinda Abrams, CPCC, MSA is a champion of the shared experience. She consistently moves individuals and groups to deeper levels of connection and support, and models ‘being moved’ by what is present in the space. She believes that in this creative combustion, capacity expands ….simply, naturally, magnificently. In addition to coaching corporate executives, Melinda takes great pleasure collecting and sharing messages about Loving the Life you Lead on facebook and her blog Moving Leaders. She loves coaching, delivering experiential programs at outdoor education centers, teaching teleclasses, holding weekend retreats, and guiding leaders to MOVE. Melinda brings over 20 years of teaching and leadership development to Moving Leaders. Her work spans experiences with youth, corporate clients, and both business and medical graduate students at Duke, University of North Carolina, North Carolina State and Wake Forest Universities. Her commitment is to serve emerging leaders as they move towards shared enthusiastic leadership. And YES! Melinda is also an artist. She creates unique handpainted scarves. In my art, my coaching, and my spiritual practice I consistently return to wonder and awe. As I turn to wonder and create from there I experience a profound connection with source. This movement brings me to this latest series of scarves. I love the idea of wrapping oneself in an idea–an intention– a possibility, and creating beauty with that intention. My hope is that when one chooses this scarf to wear, they turn from disconnected bland to soulful brilliant. Of course when the scarf is open and hung you can read the message, yet when it is draped and worn, the message is simply seen as a design. My promise is that the wearer is reminded to turn towards the message and that the message is shared through the wearers actions and interactions with others. Melinda Abrams Melinda loves living in Chapel Hill, NC with her husband and three children.
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